Hi Ho, to Homer We Go

In our first attempt of the year at an actual, bona fide family vacation, Bear, Yukon and I are departing for Homer at some point today. I say 'some point' because packing the family truckster always takes longer than I imagine, and with the dog added into the mix of things, even longer.

The house is secured with its own babysitter (must keep those vegetables and flowers from wilting, don't you know), the refrigerator has been somewhat purged of items that might make for a disagreeable homecoming, and we're all set for an extended party in our favorite cosmic town.

More from the temporary Homerite family as soon as we get situated and I have a beer in my hand...

Update From the Wolf Den

Last night I was up too late working on a piece for a Portland area family magazine, focusing primarily on our decision to move Wolf down to CHYC and the resulting ramifications.

As I clickety-clacked away on the laptop, it occured to me that perhaps this story is a bit more unique than I had originally thought. While Yukon and I were in the throes of painful parental decision-making, the ultimate outcome simply seemed the right thing to do for the right reasons, and the fact that the facility was a few thousand miles became secondary.

Of course we wish the State of Alaska provided resources for its own children, many of whom hale from villages so remote that parents/relatives of CHYC students cannot visit but once per year, if at all. We wish there was adequate and positive psychological/psychiatric care for children with such disorders as Asperger Syndrome, Bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD, etc. beyond the minimal programming school districts and some support agencies provide. We wish there was another way, but right now it does not exist, so here we are.

CHYC is the only residential school that treats children/teens with Asperger Syndrome on the West Coast; another is in Texas, and if CHYC is full, children from Alaska go there. I keep telling the Clinical Director at CHYC to come on up and set up shop in Alaska, and I am only half-teasing.

One thing I wish we had was a more cohesive network of parents/caregivers from Alaska who have children in CHYC; a support system is crucial to the continuance of positive care for our kids even as they are away from us. Unit Director and I have been discussing this possibility; my background as a support group facilitator might come in handy to set something up, perhaps at minimum a casual meeting night.

Our circumstances are a bit different from other families who are facing the challenges of Asperger's; a combination of care needs and care availability was the driver in our difficult decision. But our love for Wolf and our desire to give him every possible opportunity for success isn't unique. We are parents, and like most parents, we simply look to what is right for our kid, even if it is difficult or out-of-the-box of "normal treatment".

But, then, I've never been one for traditional anything....

Brussel Sprouts, Anyone?

Perhaps I should have planted only one bush of brussel sprouts, instead of four. One or two squash vines, instead of six.

This summer is so drastically different from last year, I couldn't help myself. With almost two months of little rainfall and near-constant sunshine, Alaskan gardens (and their gardeners) are singing and dancing in their rows.

I think today is the first day in a long time where it is chilly (only 65 degrees) and cloudy. Bear and I spent the morning playing with friends at a local elementary school and then took care of the errands we have neglected while the sun shone, much like other Alaskans who fear any time lost by mundane tasks during sunny days.

For those who wonder what vegetables are sprouting in the Kirkland garden, we have those brussel sprouts, purple potatoes, squash, beets, a few raspberry canes, four or five kale plants, and tons of strawberries. I have taken a lesson from my father and planted vegetables in the flower beds; interesting and productive.

We're headed to Homer, our home away from home, in a few days, where we'll relax at a cabin near the beach.

The Wolf Den Painting

"Updates from the Wolf Den" have a new look, with the addition of a special painting to my blog posts. A few people have asked about the name, the change to the painting, and its background, so I am happy to oblige.

The name 'Wolf' came about by accident, I suppose. When searching for pseudo-names for my sons during the creation of this blog, I randomly chose Bear and Wolf, not realizing until much later the connection and irony the name implied with respect to the journey with our oldest child. Wolves are animals who operate under a strict social hierarchy and those who cannot, or will not, conform to that hierarchy are deemed "lone wolves" and subsequently shunned from the pack. I added "Update from the Wolf Den" as a reminder to myself and to readers that Wolf may think he is alone in this life, but we will not allow him to be so.

The painting that has replaced my Husky/Wolf picture is not of my own doing, sadly. It is, however, a watercolor painting by my beloved uncle from Marysville, Washington, who gifted us with portraits of both our children from photographs I had provided him. The setting is Seward, Alaska, the last family vacation we had taken with Wolf two summers ago. Wolf is engaging in his favorite pastime, beachcombing, and had just finished building a stone wall to hold all the treasures found along Resurrection Bay. It is my favorite portrait and, I believe, speaks volumes about my son. It hangs alongside his little brother's portrait, from the same vacation, in our hallway.

Thank you for continuing to read about our journey, and keep passing along the blog address to anyone you may know who is traveling a similar road.

Where Are We, Again?

I am sure I must be mistaken. This sunny, hot stretch of weather cannot be in the Alaska I have known for almost four years. Not this place where I have been forced, under direction from the Anchorage Daily News' garden guru, to actually use my sprinkler for something other than a door stop.

Day Whatever of no measurable rain, and Alaska is on fire. Literally. On. Fire. There remain 62 active forest fires burning right now in the state, and due to a sluggish jet stream, most of the smoke has descended upon our little wilderness haven.

Smoke has been so thick that it has been declared "Unhealthy". The usual view of the green, lush Chugach mountains is obscured by interesting layers of smoke, and (this is the fun part)we have ash. Go figure, ash from a volcano in March, ash from a fire in July. We can't win.

The air smells like an overburned campfire and stings the eyes, including Dog's, whose tears have nothing to do with my refusal to give him the leftover pork chops.

Our photo montage of the week includes a BLM Fire helicopter swooping down upon the mommies and kids gathered at our local swimming hole to suck up water for a fire mere blocks away. Also shown is the view from our deck this afternoon, when Bear and I decided to make a break for it and go downtown (where the smoke is decidedly thinner) and visit our children's museum and have lunch at the Glacier Brewhouse. Sacrifices we make in the name of safety...

From the Wolf Den: Cover Story

Every one of us has a Cover Story; coping skills we have used to manage our lives since childhood. When life deals us a blow, big or small, we use such skills to work our way through and hopefully come out the other side a stronger person. Cope. Deal With It. Adapt.

Coping skills are vital to our survival, and their success or failure depends upon our willingness to choose appropriate ones and to use them even when it would be easier not to. For example, taking a long run or listening to soothing music, expressing our emotions verbally or drawing out frustrations on paper; all are appropriate choices when we are under emotional "attack".

Children with Asperger Syndrome have trouble coping with life in general, and the staff at CHYC, from Day One, establish appropriate coping skills which are then factored into daily life. The hard part is getting the kids to use them. So many are already using coping strategies that are not appropriate; from alcohol use to lying to violent temper tantrums, they are simply ways the kids have found to mask the real hurt. Constructive or appropriate, not so much.

Wolf's cover story is headlined by his virtual shut-down when a painful situation or topic is introduced. It is indeed a visible reminder of how far he has yet to go. The coping skills developed over a year ago are still present, but they are choice #2when they need to be #1. Covering him like a thick blanket, the negative coping mechanisms overshadow the positive ones, while the staff, and we, work like anything to remove that layer.

Come Visit and We'll Take You Here...

New favorite trip. Hands-down the best yet we've experienced. Train ride, raft float, icebergs, cocktails, and incredibly sunny weather. Ahhh, Alaska.....

Read and see more at AKontheGO.
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